• Sanna Rådelius

Radical Confession


To be the first one to climb the mountain.

To get to the top first and leave my mark.

To put my flag there for the world to see.


Glory. Respect. Acceptance.


The bitterness of realizing someone beat you to it.

The bitterness of realizing someone else found the same route.

The bitterness of realizing you are not that exceptional.


Bitterness. Cynicism. Grudge.


...puh...


Oh, the shame.


The shame of admitting my shadow within.

The shame of seeing this egoistic little thing living inside of me.

The shame of realizing that what I am fighting to change on the outside,

is alive and kicking inside of me.


Fuck.


Collaboration. Co-creation. Collective intelligence.

Abundance. Gifting. Love.


The concepts I preach.

I question myself.

With this poisonous thing living inside of me, is my intention honest?

Is it real?


I feel dirty.

Like something being stuck on me, that I am panicking to get rid of.

I don’t want you!

I don’t believe that you bring anything good.

Please, just get off me!!


But the more I struggle, the harder it grabs hold of me.


I surrender.

I can’t get away.

I can only accept it.

Allow.


It loosens it grip and allows me to see.

This poisonous thing I am trying to get away from is no one else than my inner child.

The one I want to hide in the basement.

The one I want to keep hidden from the world.

From myself.


Now you kicked in the door.

Demanded to be seen.

“Enough is enough.

To be able to speak the truth, you also need to allow me!”


I see you now.

I see you.

I caress your cheek.

I feel you.


I am so sorry.

Please forgive me.

I see now that the poison is not you.

The poison is the result of me not acknowledging you.

You are just a child, looking for love.

Like everyone else.


I am sorry.


Now that I see you within myself,

I hope that I can more easily see it within others.

And in the collective.

Be more forgiving. More compassionate.

More humble.


To allow you little child,

To allow you to be part of the light,

as part of ourselves.

Yes, that is probably the only way forward.

Towards that potential world, in which I have so much faith.

Towards those concepts that I preach and wish for us all:


Collaboration. Co-creation. Collective intelligence.

Abundance. Gifting. Love.


I confess and allow.

I am not better than anyone else.

You want to be the one putting that flag on the mountain.

That is okay.

But as your parent, I will remind you:

The journey to the top will go faster and be more joyful,

together with others.





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